What ho! Part 2 awaits!

75)

“They’re Not Witches” - Alien Lanes

This is another one of the short, simple tunes that really makes Alien Lanes work for me. Additionally, at first listen the lyrics are weird and silly, but lines such as “Red ants and mercy giants, the angels of the fall” have come to make sense to me in a way that, unfortunately for you idiots reading this, can not be expressed in words.

74)

“Cut-Out Witch” - Under the Bushes Under the Stars

This track (perhaps for it’s slow ramp up at the beginning?) reminds me of Sonic Youth. Ultimately, what has kept it one of my favorite tracks on this record is the bizarre relationship between the singer and his subject that is implied. “Do you suppose she could save my life?”

73)

“Striped White Jets” - Alien Lanes

This is the first song I ever saw Guided by Voices play live. It made no sense and also made perfect sense. This is a great song to sing out loud in the car. I have no idea what the song means, but, you know, Robert Pollard loves planes.

72)

“Tricyclic Looper” - King Shit and the Golden Boys

This song is a stupid, fun song from the early years. It’s also about early anti-depressants which is always fun. “Come on loop!”

71)

“Closer You Are” - Alien Lanes

This song is bar none, my favorite song to sing aloud to in my car. It is definitely the most shouty song on Alien Lanes. It’s also SUPER FUN to air drum to!  The words are just so much fun to say! “Try to be nice, and look what it gets ya!”

70)

“Hot Freaks” - Bee Thousand

This song is one of the early hooks that turned this band into my favorite band. This would not feel entirely out of place on a Velvet Underground record. The words may not be explicitly sexual, but they are weird, and fun, and the guitar part underlining the whole thing is incredibly hypnotic. Plus, who doesn’t like to think about meeting a non-dairy creamer?

69)

“No Sky” - Under the Bushes Under the Stars

Heh, 69. Anyway, this song is, I think, a great example of being both personal enough and vague enough to draw any listener in. For me, it captures post-break-up loneliness in a way that is exactly depressing as it should be.

68)

“Particular Damaged” - Propeller

The guitar work on this track fills me with tension. It is a very suspenseful sound. And the highly distorted vocals add to the track’s suspense. It sounds like the whole thing is coming to you through a tin can, but in the best way possible!

67)

“Shocker in Gloomtown” - Grand Hour

This is probably the first song on here that I would say definitively sounds like Guided by Voices. There’s that Beatlesesque harmonic quality with that punk rock frenzy. It also happens to be about a band, but that’s neither here nor there. This is a really fun and quick pop song which is GbV’s stock and trade.

66)

“Take to the Sky” - Under the Bushes Under the Stars

I’m not sure if this is supposed to be the last track of UtBUtS or the second to last track. I like it more as the last track because it is upbeat and weird and acoustic. The lyrics seem to shift from surrealist nonsense to legitimate comments about a college campus, and the simple, driving acoustic chords propel it forward, lightly.

65)

“Indian Was an Angel” - King Shit and the Golden Boys

Here’s another one I know next to nothing about. I love it though. It really leaves you with only the bare essentials of what makes a great GbV song. Vocal harmonies and a simple, propelling guitar part.

64)

“Matter Eater Lad” - Clown Prince of the Menthol Trailer

This is a deep cut, guys. Like, super deep. But they’ve been playing it live a bunch recently. It really is the best of both worlds, too. Its verses contain the harsh, punkish chords that feel very Mitch Mitchelly, but its chorus is so fun and bouncy! Also, this year’s Let’s Go Eat the Factory seems to be, at least in part, a reference to this song.

63)

“Deathtrot and Warlock Riding a Rooster” - King  Shit and the Golden Boys

This one is ALL vocal harmonies. The lyrics are stupid. The only instrument is a piano. So fuck it, listen to it for the vocal harmonies and see GbV doing what they do best, yo!

62)

“Buzzards and Dreadful Crows” - Bee Thousand

It seems to be a fairly straightforward rock song, but the lyrics are super fun, and melodically, it is so much fun! It feels so much like a 60s pop tune! “There’s something in this deal for everyone!”

61)

“Metal Mothers” - Propeller

For the longest time, this song would get lost to me. It falls in between a few of my favorite GbV songs. But it belongs on the forefront. It builds and releases perfectly. This is one of the rare GbV tracks that allows the guitar work to truly shine (in so far as its climax is a guitar solo.)

60)

“Acorns and Orioles” - Under the Bushes Under the Stars

This track belongs here mostly for its brilliant chorus and simple acoustic composition. “I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know.”

59)

“Awful Bliss” - Bee Thousand

This is probably the track on Bee Thousand that took me the longest to come around on. It is by Tobin, and it is GORGEOUS. I think the opening lyric is so evocative and brilliant, “You chose a giant step that caught your eye.”

58)

“As We Go Up, We Go Down” - Alien Lanes

Mid tempo, but upbeat, this one is a bit of a trickster. The lyrics are pretty dark. “I can’t socialize, I’ll be institutionalized.” It’s a fun, fun track to listen to, but nothing about it is more fun than shouting along to the lyric, “I speak in monotone, leave my fucking life alone!”

57)

“Yours to Keep” - Bee Thousand

This one feels so private to Robert Pollard, that it’s hard to write about. I will, thusly, totally cop from the 33 and a third entry on Bee Thousand and mention how incredible the idea of the “sweet flesh prize” being a “necklace of fifty eyes” is.

56)

“Teenage FBI” - Do the Collapse

By Robert Pollard’s own admission, this song is lifted from stupid shit his fourth grade class said when he was still a teacher, but his vocal delivery, and the song’s almost Green Day-esque pop sensibilities really allow the listener to put some fun high school bullshit on this one.

55)

“Pimple Zoo” - Alien Lanes

I’m not even going to say anything about this, just quote the lyrics. “Sometimes I get the feeling that you don’t want me around.”

54)

“Atom Eyes” - Under the Bushes Under the Stars

This is another “mentos” thing. But the other weird thing I can’t shake about this song in particular is that I’ve always imagined it as an answer to “Underwater Explosion.” Is that weird? Whatever. Oh, and it’s a Tobin song.

53)

“Man Called Aerodynamics” - Under the Bushes Under the Stars

There are songs higher up on this list that have opened GbV albums, HOWEVER, this is my favorite album opener of all time. Those opening guitar chords set the tone for this entire album. Plus, the song acts as somewhat of a meta-commentary on the types of songs that Robert Pollard was writing at the time.

52)

“We’ve Got Airplanes” - King Shit and the Golden Boys

I’m not sure when this song was recorded, but it was pretty early in the band’s existance (no later than 1988 probably) and therefore, is the most GbV sounding thing the band recorded in the 80s. Basically, it is way more Beatles than REM. There was still exploring to do, but this track really lays down the groundwork for an ideal GbV song.

51)

“Gelatin, Ice Cream, Plum” - Static Airplane Jive

This is an extremely “punky” Guided by Voices song. IT’s loud, the guitars are crunchy, and Robert Pollard’s voice gets lost. But it is fun as hell to try and guess the lyrics, and shout along to this song when you drive really fast on highways.

Alright, here it goes. Counting backwards from 100!

100)

“Now I’m Crying” - Wish in One Hand…

This song is a song I know relatively little about in terms of the whole Guided by Voices oeuvre. What I know, I know from listening to the song. It holds some of the desperation of earlier GbV classics, while having that lovely sound that would take over in the wake of the disintegration of the “classic” line up of the band. This one’s probably not a good starting point in terms of diving into this band, but it is a good song by a good band.

99)

“Dust Devil” - King Shit and the Golden Boys

This is another one that doesn’t quite fit the GbV oeuvre, but is nonetheless a great track. In it, you can hear the sense of vocal harmony that is ultimately the band’s calling card. However, in this track (as it will be in most early Guided by Voices tracks) the overall structure of the song puts it more in the realm of American post-punk acts like REM than the british invasion that would prove to be Pollard and co.’s main influence as they grew as a band.

Also, allow me to note now, King Shit and the Golden Boys is a compilation of early recordings that was released in 1995. These tracks are basically impossible to find elsewhere.

98) 

“Perhaps Now the Vultures” - Vampire on Titus

Here we have another track that captures a band that I don’t think has quite found its voice yet. I may be tricked by the sound of the guitar on this one, because the “lead” guitar track is quite spacey and, if I may, “post-punky.” Regardless, this is a better introduction into the spirit of Guided by Voices than either of its predecessors on this list. Robert Pollard sounds like Robert Pollard on this track, and his lyrics evoke the desperation that make the earlier “classic” GbV records hit so close to home for myself and many of my friends.

97)

“2nd Moves to Twin” - King Shit and the Golden Boys

Robert “Uncle Bob” Pollard attributed a lot of his success to sticking to the 4 p’s of songwriting (pop, punk, psychedelic, and progressive). This is one of the prime examples of utilizing the third P. The guitar work on this track is not particularly complex, but its impact is. Add to that the somewhat cryptic nature of the song’s lyrics and you have a (relatively) modern lo-fi psychedelic classic on your hands.

96)

“Red Gas Circle” - Propeller

This marks my first entry from what are agreed to be the classic albums (though Vampire on Titus belongs in that category, despite what some AV Club jerks may say.) This track is a rather sedate Pollard tune, and generally (at least when it comes to GbV classic) that is the realm of Tobin Sprout. But anyway, I think the simple instrumentation of this song allows what is the greatest strength of Guided by Voices (vocal harmonies) to shine through.

95)

“The Hard Way” - Same Place the Fly Got Smashed

The guitar shimmers, the drums pound, and Pollard sings his heart out on this one. This is among the earliest heartfelt punk-influenced tracks in the band’s discography. Its optimistic tone (musically speaking at least) fits with a lot of the band’s work, though in the context of this record (a concept album about alcoholism) it is a bit of a false positive.

94)

“Hold on Hope” - Do the Collapse

So, Guided by Voices signed to a major label at some point. I ain’t gonna apologize for that. I also ain’t gonna apologize for the fact that this song was on Scrubs (a show I hate.) This song is a terrific song. I would not recommend it for first time GbV listeners, but it’s a good song that may attract otherwise uninterested listeners to the band.

93)

“Discussing Wallace Chambers” - Devil Between my Toes

This is the second track on the first Guided by Voices LP. It doesn’t fit the rest of the band’s discography at all, really. The guitar work stands out as its own thing far more than would happen later. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing, the guitar work on this track is very interesting. Also, the bridge of this song is beautiful. It sounds like REM, but it sounds like a better version of REM.

92)

“Squirmish Frontal Room” - King Shit and the Golden Boys

This one is on here mostly for the lyrics. The lyrics to this song rip so hard. Also the chorus of “No no no no no no” is the best chorus of one repeated word ever recorded.

91)

“Blue Babbleships Bay” - Class Clown Spots a UFO

I’m not going to front with you, person reading my blog, I have not spent a whole hell of a lot of time with the two Guided by Voices records that have come out so far this year. They probably need more time to sink in. HOWEVER, this song immediately hit me. It captures a lot of the early 90s spirit of this band. Robert Pollard has, in interviews, expressed fondness for the verbal nonsense often written in song by John Lennon, and few GbV songs invoke that spirit as well as this one.

90)

“Old Battery” - Devil Between my Toes

First track on the first LP. Again, this record is the best REM record ever recorded. The chorus of “Die hard” makes me happy for a completely unexplainable reason. Bob never sounds like this again.

89)

“A Salty Salute” - Alien Lanes

This is the album opener for Alien Lanes. This track definitely captures a band that is about to become a live powerhouse. There isn’t a whole hell of a lot to discuss about this track. Its chorus of “The Club is Open” has become a quite apropos anthem for the band.

88)

“Alright” - Alien Lanes

Speaking of apropos, this is the closer of Aline Lanes! Its lyrics consist of one word (wanna guess? The answer’s in the title.) The guitar (which is uncharacteristically high in the mix here) really lifts the listener with its ascending, major solo into a soothing, harmonic chorus of voices singing “alright.”

87)

“Glad Girls” - Isolation Drills

This is a stupid pop song on a stupid pop album (at least in comparison to the rest of the band’s collection.) HOWEVER, while I was living at home with my parents after college, their favorite radio station played this song during dinner, and we had a bit of a moment, and that moment was nice, and nice moments are why we listen to music.

86)

“Liquid Indian” - Do the Collapse

Here is another song that rests heavily on Robert Pollard’s vocal harmony laurels. This song is probably underwhelming otherwise, but the “Aahooooooh” underneath the chorus totally nails me every damn time!

85)

“King and Caroline” - Alien Lanes

I think the main reason I like this song is that I always pictured it as being kind of sarcastic, and that the “king” is kind of a dildo, and I knew a dude who dated a girl named Caroline, and he was kind of a dildo, so the ideas fused in my brain and gave me a deep and everlasting connection to this song.

84)

“Underwater Explosions” - Under the Bushes Under the Stars

Oh boy! Our first UTBUTS entry! This record is, in my opinion, vastly underrated. This, my lowest ranked song on said album, represents, to my estimation, the very average of this record’s songs. Or perhaps not average, but median. Anyway this song is a good Guided by Voices song (the first to appear on this list that I would recommend listening to if you’ve never heard of the band, though not the best jumping off point) and it is on a very good album.

83)

“A Good Flying Bird” - Alien Lanes

So far this list has been dominated by Robert Pollard songs. This ditty is by his songwriting foil, Mr. Tobin Sprout. Toby’s songs on Alien Lanes and Under the Bushes Under the Stars remind me of mentos commercials for some reason. This is the one that best captures that mentos thing.

82)

“The Goldheart Mountaintop Queen Directory” - Bee Thousand

OH SHIT! BEE THOUSAND! Go out and buy Bee Thousand now, I’ll wait.

…

Oh good, you’re back! This track is a great example of what works about Bee Thousand (and makes it among the best… maybe 10 albums of all of Rock and Roll). It doesn’t sound like anything else on the record, but fits RIGHT in. Also, it’s about tripping on acid and seeing your son’s face.

81)

“Sheetkickers” - Under the Bushes Under the Stars

Robert Pollard, like John Lennon before him, had some less than savory relationships with the women in his life. All men who have relationships with women have bad ones! But here we see some truly brutal honesty about those relationships. For example, “I would like to kill you, but that would suit you fine I realize.” It’s a bad thing to think, but we think it when going through bad break ups. Be honest. Also, the melody on this song is sweet, much like John Lennon’s songs about killing ladies!

80)

“14 Cheerleader Coldfront” - Propeller

This is another Tobin Sprout song. Its importance to the GbV discography can never be understated, however. On its surface, it is a sweet song, melodic, soft, pleasant. But there is a strange darkness that hovers over it. Haunting the listener like a creeping boy in an alley.

79)

“Auditorium” - Alien Lanes

Perhaps the greatest strength of Alien Lanes lies in the inclusion of many short songs. This is one of the album’s strongest. The interplay between the lead guitar, Pollard’s primary vocal track, and Pollard’s secondary vocal track make this just over a minute track a pool well worth swimming in multiple times.

78)

“Wished I was a Giant” - Vampire on Titus

Primarily, what I love about this track is that it sounds like Robert Pollard was shouting the lyrics into a microphone that was an entire hallway away from him. Also, the guitar part and Pollard’s jubilant shouting in the “chorus” are incredibly uplifting.

77)

“Some Drilling Implied” - Propeller

I like to imagine that the lyrics of this song are an actual speech an actual coach gave to Robert Pollard at some point. (Brief sojourn, Robert Pollard was the first pitcher in the history of Wright State University to pitch a no-hitter!) Anyway, I’ve seen the band close live sets with it before, and it works beautifully!

76)

“Sister I Need Wine” - Isolation Drills

The stark guitar chords play with the strings and Robert Pollard’s vocals to create a dark mood that I imagine allows Bob to explore his relationship with drink. Also, “sister I need wine,” is a really great thing to say when you need a boozenin’ real bad.

PART ONE FINISHED!

So, as the title of this blog entry indicates, yesterday (October 31, or Halloween, or whatever else) was Robert Pollard’s (of Guided by Voices) birthday. Astute followers of stuff I do will recognize that Guided by Voices is my favorite band of ever. Less astute readers are forgive for their lack of astuteness. I mean, let’s be perfectly real with each other, I don’t update this, like, ever.

Anyway, I’m veering off topic wildly. Here’s what’s up for realsies. A few weeks back, my friend (Brock of excellent band King Pedestrian) and I absently discussed creating a list of our top 100 favorite Guided by Voices songs. Yesterday being Uncle Bob’s birthday; I took the opportunity to do just that.

Let me just say, naming 100 Guided by Voices songs that I love was easy as hell. I had quite a surplus in fact! The Guided by Voices songbook is a long one. So picking a top 100 wasn’t hard from lack of volume, but rather for a glut of terrific songs. Even at its (their?) worst, Guided by Voices creates very good songs. Robert Pollard and company do tremendous work at being a band.

What follows will be four blog entries detailing my 100 favorite Guided by Voices songs. I will attempt to contextualize these songs or at least justify why I like them so much. Music is almost entirely based on subjective experience, so a lot will be untranslatable, but I embrace the challenge.

Before I leave you to my list, a little background on Guided by Voices for any people who’ve stumbled on this and are unaware of the band. Guided by Voices, in the words of my cousin (who won a shitload of money on Jeopardy, so what he says matters) are “probably the best band of the past 25 years.” President Obama’s Press Secretary called them his favorite band IN AN OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE! They are without question an important example of what American Rock and Roll represents: some dudes who liked music, and made it. There is something about them for everyone. But more on their specific influences will follow, so I’ll wrap this shit up.

Read the next four posts if you’re down. Don’t if you’re not. The hell do I care?

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